How to Have a Successful One-on-One Conversation

Goal:  Have a conversation—not a confrontation

Turn a chance encounter into a turning point; turn a turning point into a social movement.

Step One – Make a Match – Understand the world view

  • Seek to understand their world view. You don’t need to agree with it.
  • Don’t introduce your ideas into the conversation.
  • Listen more than talk.
  • Use phrases like
    • “Tell me about. . .”
    • “Why is that?”
    • “Help me understand.”

Step Two – Set The Pace – Introduce an alternative view

  • Show your respect and understand their view.
  • Focus on shared values.
  • Introduce your alternative view.
  • Use phrases like
    • “That’s interesting. Another way to see it is. . .”
    •  “I used to see it that way.”
    •  “, , , because. . .”

Step Three – Lead – Mobilize by linking to others

  • Merge your view with theirs.
  • Shift their perspective by linking to the concept of others and the greater good.
  • Mobilize to action.
  • Use phrases like
    • “What can we do to help people see. . .”
    • “I wonder. . .”
    • “How do we get the word out?”
    • “Let’s. . .”