How to Have a Successful One-on-One Conversation

Goal:  Have a conversation—not a confrontation

Turn a chance encounter into a turning point; turn a turning point into a social movement.

Step One – Make a Match – Understand the world view

• Seek to understand their world view. You don’t need to agree with it.
• Don’t introduce your ideas into the conversation.
• Listen more than talk.
• Use phrases like
  • “Tell me about. . .”
  • “Why is that?”
  • “Help me understand.”

Step Two – Set The Pace – Introduce an alternative view

• Show your respect and understand their view.
• Focus on shared values.
• Introduce your alternative view.
• Use phrases like
  • “That’s interesting. Another way to see it is. . .”
  •  “I used to see it that way.”
  •  “, , , because. . .”

Step Three – Lead – Mobilize by linking to others

• Merge your view with theirs.
• Shift their perspective by linking to the concept of others and the greater good.
• Mobilize to action.
• Use phrases like
  • “What can we do to help people see. . .”
  • “I wonder. . .”
  • “How do we get the word out?”
  • “Let’s. . .”